its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
