Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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