So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
