I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
