Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
