Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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