found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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