Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
