this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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