omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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