It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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