I don't think brook has ever known best
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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