As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
