Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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