idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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