I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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