Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
