I want to stick my p in your. b.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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