just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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