You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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