he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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