He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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