My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
