just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
