Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
