I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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