Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
