HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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