Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
