Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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