New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
