would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Let's get the cat blown out
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
