Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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