Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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