i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
