We won't sleep together?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
