ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
