Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
