im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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