Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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