I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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