When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
