Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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