didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
