I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
