You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
