4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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