I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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