My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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