Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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