you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
