Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just found puke in my bra..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Panties = found
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
