Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
