she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize