what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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