Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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