that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize