I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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