i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize