I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
