This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
