Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize