I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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