I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
