pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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